Sparing detail, 2010 has been challenging on many levels.  The most prominent being that my father unexpectedly passed away from a heart attack in June.  Though this is turning out to be a year of profound loss, I am growing and looking forward to new experiences because I am coming to understand, more and more everyday, that there is never-ending room for improvement. 

Rest assured that my break from blogging did not include a break from running.  On the contrary, it has felt like a necessary evil (in some respects) since my father’s death.  It undoubtably has and will continue to play a huge role in my rebuilding process, but, it has also been a requirement, since I started training for another marathon in early June.

I ran that marathon two weekends ago.  The marathon that I intended to train really hard and smart for and blog my process this time around as a second time marathoner.  Obviously, that didn’t happen…but, it wasn’t all so bad in the end.

When I signed up for the Medtronic Twin Cities Marathon back in Spring, I was restless and missing the sadistic pride that inevitably accompanies marathon training (I firmly believe that every marathon runner is one part masochist).  My good friend, Jeremy, originally from the Twin Cities area, was also planning to run it and I convinced another good friend, Liz, to join us.  When my training started in June, I felt strong and grounded.  It was good to get back into a schedule; to push myself again.  It felt natural…it always does when you’re doing something you love.

Fast forward to two weeks before the marathon.  I was going through the motions; doing my long runs, doing my maintenance runs, doing yoga sometimes, making it to the gym every now and then.  I was exhausted and fed up with a lot of things in my life.  Running was moving closer and closer to the top of my list. Physically, I knew I’d be fine, but mental strength is a huge part of distance running.  The biggest part at times, I would argue.  My heart was absolutely not in it (at all) and that made me nervous.  But, I had to run this marathon…and I had to do it feeling unprepared…and I was pissed.

So I decided, given the situation, to view this marathon as a kind of “exorcism.”  It would be a culmination and release of all the emotional demons that have taken up residence the past few months (almost the entire duration of my training).  In true masochistic form, I was going to kick-off the rebuilding process by forcing my body and mind to run 26.2 miles.  No pain no gain, right? (forgive me…I’m finding way too much truth in clichés lately…also circumstantial).   

The morning of the marathon, I asked my dad to run with me.  It was a beautiful, bright and sunny day.  The course was awesome, starting in downtown Minneapolis, following along Lake of the Isles, Lake Calhoun, Lake Harriet, Lake Nokomis, The Mississippi River and ending at the Capitol in St. Paul.  I kept up pace and ran the entire race with Jeremy (this was his and Liz’s first marathon.  They both did an amazing job).  I finished, 56 minutes ahead of my time last year, feeling stronger than I have in a long time. 

Have all the demons completely left the building?  No.  I’m not so sure they ever really do.  But, I am reminded again how running translates into every part of my life and, right now, it’s therapy.  I will run another marathon, definitely.  I will likely run more than one.  But mostly, I look forward to running for myself, because I love it and it’s an outlet for me to rediscover and celebrate my strength…that’s the kind of life my dad wants me to live.

Power it up

Rigid orthotics finally in my possession, I set out this afternoon to take my first outdoor run of the season.  Now, anyone who knows me knows that, the older I get, the more I complain endlessly about the unnecessary cold I have to endure year after year in this wonderful state of mine.  That being said, I usually get the same confused reaction from anyone who knows me when I say that I enjoy running outside during the winter.  Under the right conditions, a long run outside on a brisk winter day is exhilarating and refreshing.  It is also near impossible to over heat and, therefore, I find that my endurance increases in the cold.  But, of course, I have my limitations.  Maximum enjoyment can only be achieved on a mild winter day with little wind and lots of sun.  Today presented all three components so I was actually excited (first time this season) to get outside. 

I ran 6 miles which is the longest distance I’ve run since I took a tendonitis break and the orthotics worked great.  They are very rigid and took some getting used to at first, but my run was absolutely pain-free so I was a happy girl.  Running outside and getting a little added vitamin D didn’t hurt either.

In other news, I am officially a vegetarian and should soon start blogging about some new and exciting foods to either recommend or warn against.  My diet hasn’t changed much yet, but I have to admit, I haven’t been very creative.  I just finished a late dinner of a black bean and sweet potato burrito with tomatoes and garlic salsa on a whole wheat/flax tortilla.  Again, not very creative but a good combo of protein, fiber and complex carbs. 

Off to bed now, tomorrow will start bright and early with a green monster smoothie and Bikram yoga.  My good friend Liz and I decided that Bikram and brunch would make for the perfect Sunday.

Another minor set-back that comes up due to the great state in which I live: it’s freezing outside…and I really really dislike running on a treadmill.  I go through this every year and, for the most part, I manage to still get outside for a brisk run as much as I can, but it’s limited to the weekends since it’s already dark by the time I get out of work on the week nights.  So, treadmill it is…either that or move south (which I can’t say I haven’t thought of….many times).

FOOD!

In the spirit of the recent Holiday season, my diet has crashed slipped a little bit in the past month.  But, I am a firm believer that it absolutely has to happen every now and then.  There must be indulgence, otherwise life is no fun. 

There are a few specific yummy (and healthy…for the most part) tidbits I want to share since my last post:

Stewed Eggplant:

A few months ago I went to dinner at a great Middle Eastern restaurant in town called Casablanca.  I ordered the stewed eggplant and it was so, so good.  It seemed easy enough to replicate, so I recently tried my hand at it:

Stewing

This lovely concoction consisted of a can of unsalted tomatoes in juice, sliced grape tomatoes, eggplant, carrots, chickpeas, garlic, cumin, ginger, cinnamon and teeny tiny potatoes from Trader Joe’s (I bought them because they were cute…I’m such a girl).

I have to say that I was extremely pleased with the result, served over whole wheat cous cous:

See the teeny tiny potatoes?

 Not quite as good as Casablanca…but pretty close and very easy to make.

Roasted Vegetable Pita:

I can’t take credit for this…but, I can give it where it is due.  I usually bring my own lunch to work, but, since I really hate grocery shopping and wait until the absolute last-minute (when I run out of oatmeal) to do it, I had to go out and grab something last week:

Desk Eating

There is a very small, incognito diner down the street from my office called Izzy’s that serves the absolute BEST roasted vegetable pita I have ever had (the rest of their food comes highly recommended as well).  Roasted veggies, humus, deep fried falafel and super yummy cucumber sauce on a whole wheat pita.  Oh so good.

A New Endeavor

I have decided that I want to try a vegetarian diet.  I haven’t officially started yet because I’m still doing a little research on alternate plant-based sources of protein and iron, both essential for runners.  I plan to run the Cellcom Half Marathon in May in Green Bay, so I’ll need to make sure my diet is sufficient during training. 

This isn’t a diet for weight loss, but, more an attempt to live a bit healthier, try some new foods and nutritional sources and see how a diet like this will affect (or hopefully improve) my running.  In my research, I stumbled upon a blog that I really like and think will be really informative: No Meat Athlete: Runs on Plants.  Matt is a marathon runner (running his first 50K today, actually) and decided to go vegetarian back in March.  This blog has a lot of recipes, running tips and other great tidbits on maintaining optimal health while running on a vegetarian diet.

Phew, long post!  But, sufficiently caught up.  Now off to the rest of my exciting start to 2010: laundry and apartment cleaning!

Perfection

The goodness pictured above is an omelette made with one whole egg, two egg whites, grape tomatoes, spinach and parmesan cheese with a little basil and garlic sea salt…all on whole wheat toast.  Coffee + magazine makes it complete!

I am currently icing the bottom of my right foot because I’m pretty sure I’m developing tendonitis (grrr…).  My running buddy, Amy, had an issue with it a few weeks before the marathon and, based on her symptoms, I’m fairly certain I have a case of my own.  After a long run last Sunday, the outside of the bottom of my right foot started to hurt and, when I hopped on the treadmill at the gym a few days later, it took about 3 minutes for the same pain to return.  I’m attempting to remedy the situation without a doctor first (I’m not saying this is a smart thing to do…but at this point I’m hopeful I can avoid it) so, I’ve researched some tips on treating it and we’ll see what happens.  I really need some new shoes too, which I think is probably the main reason for the injury.  For now, icing, Aleve, new shoes and possibly rigid orthotics are in order…

Until I figure this situation out, I’ll probably be spending a lot of time on the elliptical and may even dip into my work-out video archives.  A few days ago, I pulled out Tae Bo II due to my little running hiatus.  I used to do Tae Bo all the time in college and haven’t done it in years.  I have to admit, I was a little arrogant about it.  I mean, I just ran a marathon and I’m in much better shape than I was in college…piece of cake.  Well, I was put in my place the next day when I woke up sore as hell.  I may be able to run long distances…but, I guess I haven’t done too many full body aerobic work-outs in a while.  My arms, back and abs are still feeling it three days later…you know how to work it, Billy Blanks.

Well, a friend is coming over tonight for dinner so it’s time to get back to the deep clean.  I’m trying out a pumpkin goat cheese risotto recipe that Amy has highly recommended.  As for my workout this week…

Today: An attempt to run…may end up paying a visit to the gym instead.

Sunday: Cycling class at the gym with Amy

Monday: Rest

Tuesday: Cross train at the gym (elliptical, stairs, arms, abs): 1 hour/ 1 1/2 hour

Wednesday: Book club in the evening…maybe some yoga before work (about 25 min.)

Thursday: Dare I spend another hour with Billy?

Friday: Another running attempt

Saturday: Bachelorette party out of town which will include lots of eating/drinking…better make up for it this week!

The gym awaits…

Time for a re-cap:

Let's Do This.

I will start by saying the entire week and especially the weekend before I was an absolute nervous wreck.  I didn’t sleep much, I didn’t eat well and I may have even cried a few times.  I also knew that my partner in crime, Amy, was battling a nasty cold so I was officially sick with worry for the both of us.  But, regardless of how much of a headcase I was, race day came with my alarm at 5:00 A.M.  Shit.  I took an extremely hot shower, made some strong coffee, ate a bowl of steel cut oatmeal with almond butter and a banana…and exhaled.

Before I knew it, Amy and I were at the start line and I was as ready as I could have been.  I had done everything right: stuck pretty closely to my 4 month training plan, carb-loaded, over-hydrated the night before and got up every 20 minutes to pee…there was no doubt in my mind that we could do this.  We had our support system: my parents, our good friend Monica, also running, Amy’s fiance, Brad and friends…this was it.  I got emotional as soon as we started running.  Shit.

Enroute

I can honestly say that the first 17 miles felt remarkably good.  The positive energy around us was palpable and we spent the first 7 or so miles just catching up (we hadn’t actually chatted in a while so we had a lot to gossip about).  We also started out the race with our friend, John.  This was his 9th marathon so we were in good company.  But, when mile 17 hit (what Amy calls “the witching mile” in her blog), it became a whole different race.  Things started to hurt, emotions were taking over and the desire to “get done” got a HELL of a lot stronger.  My mental endurance had to kick it up a notch…and I can honestly say that it may have gotten the brunt of the work-out when it was all said and done. 

I’ll keep the gory details of about mile 19-finish to myself as my own mental reminder of what an accomplishment this was.  Just a teaser, in that span I swore A LOT, felt stabbing pain in almost every part of my body, rubbed my runny nose all over my sleeve and cried.  Amy and I also stopped talking completely.  But, then, we turned the corner and saw the finish line and a group of dear friends cheering and jumping up and down and that’s when the real crying started.  We grabbed each other’s hand and crossed the finish line together: two exhausted, watery eyed, hot messes…Amy has the photographic evidence posted on her blog to prove it.  I’m not a pretty crier. 

Oh...praise Jesus...we're done!!

And just like that, we were official marathon runners.  Or, as I like to say, “ultra endurance athletes” (anyone who engages in strenuous physical activity for longer than 4 hours).  So cool. 

Post marathon and bearing a striking resemblance to Superwoman.

Upon returning home, I stretched, took a lllooonnnggg ice bath followed by a lllooonnnggg hot shower, ate a HUGE burrito and a piece of chocolate cake and passed out early in the evening: an exhausted but stronger woman.

Post marathon:

The following week I ate all of, but not limited to, the following:

• A triple decker turkey club sandwich with a ton of bacon and mayonnaise
• A big piece of 4 cheese quiche
• More chocolate cake
• Split pea soup with fancy french sausage in it
• Chili with a lot of cheese and sour cream
• Pumpkin bread with white chocolate chips in it
• Delivery pizza with pepperoni and bacon

I also had at least one drink (beer/wine) almost every night.  I needed to get all my calories back, right?  Oh, and I didn’t work out…at all.  Partly because…why the hell should I and partly because I was pretty sore for most of the week (at least through Thursday).  But, by Saturday I could no longer use the “I just ran a marathon” excuse and dragged my calorie replenished butt back to the gym.  I was back on the road running again on Sunday with a little stiffness still hanging around in my hips.

So…what now? 

Well, my friends, I am a running addict.  It’s official…I love, love, love it and I can’t picture my life without it.  This whole training process has been such an awesome experience.  I have never challenged myself as much as I have in the past 4 months (I mean, really…why would I want to?)  and I can’t even describe what it’s done for me.  My body is stronger and able to break through any limits I previously put on it.  My mind is lighter and, when I run, things start to make sense.  Every frustration, fear, worry or doubt goes away.  Running makes me a happy, stronger, better woman and finding that within myself is worth every mile.

I want to continue this blog as a running/health/lifestyle management journal.  It has helped remarkably to keep me on track…why change a good thing?  Who knows, maybe I’ll do this marathon thing again sometime.

P.S. A few words of thanks are in order.  I have amazing friends.  I also have an amazing family.  I have gotten so much support through this whole process and I can’t even express my gratitude to everyone in my life who has encouraged me, pushed me or told me that I’m crazy.  It has made this experience so gratifying and I am a lucky, lucky girl.  Thank you.

Amy, I wouldn’t have even thought about doing something as stupid as running a marathon if you wouldn’t have put the crazy idea in my head.  I am so glad we did this together.  You’re a great friend who will be stuck with me for the long haul.  Love.

If you would have asked me about a month ago if I felt capable of actually running 26.2 miles, I would have said no.  I also would have continued to rant about how much I hate running and how scared I am that I’m going to have a heart attack or that one of my legs will fall off.  But, after yesterday, I can say now that I’m pretty sure I can pull this off.  I mean, what’s 4.2 more miles, right?

The 4.2 will make a huge difference, though, as my jump from 17.5 on my last long run to 22 did.  It was definitely a test of endurance and mental strength.  Especially since my mp3 player died around mile 10.  I thought I would absolutely die running the last 12 miles with no music, forced to focus solely on how tired my body was and how much I wanted to lay down in the grass and pass out.  But, surprisingly enough, it wasn’t bad…I actually kind of enjoyed it.  It was very meditative to just run in silence, nothing to capture my attention but the world around me. 

I mapped out a route that took me far from my house around the lake both north and south and eventually into downtown Milwaukee (about a 19 mile circle).  But, in order to get the last few miles in, I ended up looping through my neighborhood.  This was HELL!  When I got into my neighborhood and knew that my house was so close, it took all my strength not to cut it short and just go home (I actually ran past my house at one point).  But, I told myself that I didn’t run this far just to give up at 21 instead of 22 miles.  I’d already been running for close to 4 hours…what was 10 more minutes?  So, I trudged through and felt great about myself knowing that I completed the goal I set out to accomplish.

I was worn out when I got home.  I blended a banana in a glass of milk (I’ve found this is my favorite post hard run drink…it’s kind of like a smoothie, but not as thick and it’s refreshing and soothing to the stomach) and hopped into an ice bath.  Then I took a loooooong hot shower and was all set to meet a friend for dinner.  I treated myself to a HUGE brownie ice cream sundae, came home, did some laundry, took a lovely epsom salt bath and passed out for the night. 

I’m pretty sore today, but feel good overall.  I have a few days off of work since I’m starting my new job on Monday, so it’s nice to be able to relax around my apartment.

Well…a major milestone was accomplished yesterday.  Time to bring on the real thing.

At the risk of sounding a little over the top, I am so glad that I called into work…because when I went on my run today, I reached a state of enlightenment that I haven’t experienced in a very long time.  I know, right?  Yeah sure, running…enlightenment…whatever. 

A few major aspects of my life have changed very rapidly in the last few months: I found out I am going to lose my job at the end of the year, I started hanging out with a new guy and I (somehow miraculously) got a new job that I think is going to be really good for me.  Basically, I have been forced to take a look at my life and make an assessment of how I’m living it.  I’ve questioned a lot of things, where I see my career going…whether I plan to keep living in Wisconsin in the future…what I’m looking for in my relationships…and how comfortable I am with myself to ultimately thrive in this whole big picture.  I think I’ve realized that, no matter how much I think I know myself or how confident I am in my decisions, it only takes one thing (big or small) to completely throw me off course.  I like to say (very admantly at times) that I am exactly where I want to be and that I am completely confident and stable with who I am as a person and what I want out of my life and those with whom I share it.  But, life is about change…sometimes abrupt change…and there will always be times where reassessement is absolutely essential.

Today on my run, I had a moment of clarity that I hope serves as a turning point to the last two stressful and soul-searching months.  It was a gorgeous day, I was relaxed, I felt strong and energized…and I was totally and completely happy.  My head was clear and I found a center in myself that really surprised me.  Everything was engaged: mind, body and soul and for the first time in a while, I felt completely aligned and passionate.

Running makes me strong.  It relieves my stress and forces my body to take over and give my mind a much needed rest.  When the stress is gone…I find the time to mentally unpack and attempt to make sense of everything else in my life and figure out how it works together.  Running grounds me, it centers me, it makes me feel accomplished and, at times like today, so so passionate. 

Running makes me feel good about myself…and if I can find a way to translate that amazing energy into everything in my life, then I absolutely can’t wait to see what’s next for me. 

For the record, my horoscope for today is:

“You need to make the most of your great energy today — people are sure to see you in the most positive light! Whether your goal is a new job, a new love or a whole new life, it’s yours for the asking.”

Delish.

Everything on this plate is marinated in a yummy orange sauce and the chicken and broccoli are grilled.  Smokey, orange, carb and protein loaded goodness.  Thank you, Adrienne…I couldn’t have asked for a better post long run dinner (for the record, close to 5 minutes after I took this picture everything was gone and I was back for more pasta).

I’m pretty stiff at the moment, but I feel pretty good.  Surprisingly, far less exhausted than last week after my deceptive 13 mile run.  I definitely ran much further (the extra 4 felt like 10).  Aside from being pretty painful toward the end, my energy level was awesome and I didn’t feel near as nauceous afterward.  But, last week I started out after a full work day and not much sleep the night before.  I guess there is something to be said about a full 8+ hours of sleep…

Before my run, I had to pick up some energy gel since I depleted my supply last week.  I normally use Honey Stinger, but seeing as though the only place that sells it in Milwaukee is far away on the other side of town, I stopped at a closer running store and picked up some GU.

GU is probably the most commonly used energy gel among runners, but I was orginally looking for a supplement that is a little more natural and doesn’t contain caffeine.  Turns out, I think I will be switching my energy gel.  The consistency was a little thicker and less appetizing, but my endurance throughout this run was really great and I feel like my recovery was pretty minimal.  Plus, my stomach felt a little lighter and less upset this time around.  Who needs organic and natural when you can have synthetic and caffeinated?  I mean really.

My training schedule for this week includes a much shorter long run but ramped up mileage (just a bit) during the week:

Monday: Rest (maybe a little bit of yoga…game day decision)

Tuesday: 6 miles

Wednesday: 5 miles

Thursday: Cross-train at the gym

Friday: Rest

Saturday: 8 miles (long run)

Sunday: 6 miles